A completely messed-up but loving family, with the patriarch voiced by Will Farrell, the matriarch by Jean Smart, and pretty much everyone else by Billy West. It was doomed from the start.

The Oblongs followed the adventures of the eponymous family in the town of Hill-Valley. The Oblongs live in the valley portion, where the rest of the working class live. The intro song tells it best:

Down in the valley where a chemical spill

Came from the people living up on a hill

Live a family by the land filled with hazardous foam

In their happy glowing home

But they have issues just like everyone else's family! Sure, Bob doesn't have any arms or legs, but that doesn't stop him from working a full-shift down at Globicide, capping bottles of poison, and then going out for drinks with his coworkers. Pickles may have left her rich, Hill lifestyle to be with Bob, but that has nothing to do with her raging alcoholism, nothing at all! She leaves little Beth at the mall a lot less, now.

Let's get to know our new family!

Bob Oblong


Bob is a good man. Bob works long hours at the factory and provides for his children. In his spare time, he is making a model of the Kon-Tiki. He is not going to put up with that sass, mister, so you get to your room right now!

It is never explained how Bob manages to drive around town.

Pickles Oblong


Pickles fell in love with Bob and left her rich Hill lifestyle to be with him. Punishments intended for the children somehow turn into impromptu drunken laus. After leaving her little daughter in the liquor store once too many, she was court-ordered to become the den mother of her local Little Amazons. After losing in the wilderness challenges to Hill's Little Amazons, she saves the day via the knowledge she imparted to the children about urban survival:

Milo Oblong


Our hero. Simultaneously over- and-under-medicated, Milo longs to be part of the "normal" people. Clever, and often the instigator of adventures. In the first episode, he was tagged by an alien posing a popular girl, so they could keep track of his migratory movements. Becomes popular after a short-lived that he invented about wearing buckets, but lost it all when he went too far at his fashion show.

He's not quite right.

Biff and Chip Oblong


Conjoined at the hip, they share a stomach and colon. They also have distinct personalities. Biff somehow manages to be on the wrestling team. They are also able to go into 'trances' in order to give the other brother some privacy.

They're okay.

Beth Oblong


Her growth is the result of too much bovine growth hormone in her food. Surprisingly well-adjusted, she is a huge fan of Velva the Warrior,Velva's sidekick Majora, her horse Fallopious and her enemy Testaclees who lives in the evil Vast Deferens Forest. If for nothing else, watch this show for this episode. I will settle for watching the scene:

Plus, all the other denizens:

The Debbies

"Debbie told me that she heard from Debbie, that Debbie says that she doesn't like Debbie as much as Debbie!"


That pretty much sums up the Debbies. They are horrendously cruel and highly entertaining. Best episode: Disfigured Debbie, where the parents of a Debbie fake her death rather than have her go back to school after her disfiguring accident.

The Clubhouse Friends

Let me introduce you to the queen of self-delusion, Helga Phugly. She is one of my many patronuses:


You need to see the episode where her parents go on vacation and never come back and she must fend for herself! That is, until Milo comes by to help.


Creepy Susie


And honestly, the other friends I want to keep a surprise because they are beautiful.


Now, it isn't a perfect show (some of their character representations can be offensive) but dammit if I don't love Pickles and Helga and the Debbies.